Children: The ultimate teachers

I'm learning a lot from my kids. Some of the lessons are good, and some are more humbling---but either way I'm learning. I think many parents underestimate how much they have to learn from their growing kiddos. In the simplest form, they teach us to remember how simple the world can be. How much fun, and thrilling it can be when your only worries are what game to play next; and the most troubling issue of the day is laying still for a nap. They bring out the pureness of life and give us a glimpse back at what it was like before all of the world's issues, demands, and corruption coated our hearts and souls. I believe that children are indeed a blessing from the Lord. Psalm 127:3 states, "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward" (NASB) They bless us in ways that we don't recognize, and I think many of  the times those instances of "blessing" are viewed more a trials, and frustrations--- but the fruit those experiences produce in our lives proves otherwise. "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." John 15:2

My daughter is two and a half. Those of you who have experience with two and a half year-olds know full well the challenges they present. They are becoming aware that they are their own little person, and enjoy exercising their free will----even when it doesn't agree with mom and dad! My daughter loves to push my buttons! :) However, I could view that as a frustration (and many times in the moment I do!) or I could view that as a learning experience. I can better myself and my child through this challenge presented to me, or I can choose to simply be frustrated.

Many parents have shared with me that in parenting, the days are long, but the months are short. I couldn't agree more!!! They day-to-day challenges with kiddos can be overwhelming sometimes.  But at the end of the month---or sometimes even the end of the week--- I look back at those times of struggle, and I see the fruits of how my daughter is learning, growing and maturing.  Because I didn't give-in and let my daughter eat dessert before finishing her vegetables (despite her fit), she's learned to not even ask for dessert before her plate is clean. Because I've requested again, and again, and again (and again!) for her to pick up her dirty cloths and put them in the cloths hamper---she now does it willingly on her own without being told. Because I've made her say "please" and "thank you" every time she asks for, or receives something--- she now does it automatically, even when interacting with someone she doesn't know. Because we pray together, every single time, before we eat---she won't even take a taste of food before praying first. These are just a few very simple examples---but my point is there.  The fruit of my efforts is slowly being seen.  I am being blessed by her each day. I am actually shaping the views, morals, values, and knowledge of this littler person God entrusted me with. How awesome is that!!! 

Goodness knows I'm not perfect-- and neither is my daughter.  She has her bad days and so do I! We're human, it's to be expected.  But choosing to persevere and take that extra moment to read "Green Eggs and Ham" literally for the 8th time that day to show my daughter she's important to me, and that she is valuable enough to have my time and attention, WILL payoff. 

Now---what am I learning by reading "Green Eggs and Ham" 8 times a day other than memorizing the book, and learning to speak in rhymes quite well? Well, patience for one!! I have gained A LOT of patience overall since having kids. Self-sacrifice is another good one. How many times have I put off a shower, or even lunch for myself to make sure my kiddos are attended to---too many to count! I've most certainly learned to be more organized! How to organize my own time (every minute counts!), how to organize my house, how to organize our bills, and financial paperwork. Adding kiddos to any situation helps you get organized really fast, or you're in over your head in no time! Multitasking is another life skill I've mastered.  The other day I made an entire corn casserole while holding my 7-month old, and fixing lunch for my daughter. 

The more humbling things I've learned? That I'm not a very nice person some days---and that despite it all, I am still a very selfish, self-seeking human being. I love my kids---but there are some days I'd rather take a nap then play "horsey" with Deborah, or entertain Eli with funny faces. There are some days when I'd literally give someone $100 to sleep for 2 hours, or to take a shower---or better yet a bath! There are some days when my sweet innocent little girl, in all her cuteness, makes googly eyes and asks to go to the park---but I just can't muster up the energy to pack up two kiddos and go. Maybe it's the thought of the 8 loads of laundry waiting on me, or the sink full of dishes that discourage me. Either way, I don't always prioritize how I should. 

Yet, when I do, I see the fruits of my labor. I see a little girl growing up with respect for her family, love for her brother, and a desire to understand more about God.  It's a marathon, not a sprint. I will see the benefits slowly over the many years to come.

 All of the momma's reading this---don't give up! Keep fighting the good fight, and go that extra mile for your kids. Persevere through difficult times and circumstances, guiding your children all the way. God will bless you for your efforts, and over time, you will see the fruits of your labor. There is nothing sweeter than when your kids not only bless you, but become a blessing to others! 

Try and reason with a 2-year old, I dare ya! *wink wink*

Have you ever tried to reason with a 2-year old---particularly a strong willed one? One that is completely, totally, and absolutely convinced she is correct in her 2-year old reasoning skills? If you haven't, please find a nearby 2-year old, and for the sake of experimentation, give it a try.  I guarantee you will emerge from the experience not only amazed at the fortitude and boldness that little one presents, but will probably find a bit of humor in the situation.

Last week my darling little girl begged to go outside as the weather was warming up. I happily agreed, as some fresh air sounded pretty good. I had a bouncy seat out in the barn ready for Eli, and Deborah was ready to help me with some afternoon chores. It sounded like a great plan. I told Deborah to go put her boots on, so we could head outside.  As I'm preparing Eli for our outdoor adventure, Deborah comes in with both socks and both boots carefully on her hands, smiling at her accomplishment. In fact I was pretty amazed she was capable of getting both socks and shoes carefully over her hands without help. I laughed, and said, "Sweetie, your shoes need to go on your feet." I was quickly met with an very objectionable, "NO!" I knew this was about to become a meltdown trigger. Why? She had worn shoes on her feet hundreds of times before and knew this was a requirement for walking out of the house---especially when going to the barn. But she was absolutely convinced, in this moment, her shoes looked much better on her hands. Never mind the fact that she couldn't do anything with her hands occupied, and there stood a gravel driveway in between the front door and the barn. I'm certain if I had let her walk outside with those boots on her hands, she would have painfully walked over the entirety of the gravel driveway without fuss--- but as I tried removing her boots from her hands, she had an absolute fit. Tears welled up in her eyes and streamed down her face, and she threw herself onto the floor in a dramatic display of injustice. Oh, how awful I must be, LOL ;)

Photo Credit: lifestyle.inquirer.net

I honestly laughed. I mean think about it----how completely ridiculous is this notion? It makes no sense. This is, however, one of the many moments that we are called to correct our child as parents. She is two---she doesn't think 10 seconds ahead of where she currently exists in time. She didn't think about the gravel driveway, or the many different hazards that exist in a barn that can hurt little feet. It never occurred to her that she wouldn't be able to accomplish anything with boots covering her hands. Perhaps the average child in this circumstance (if allowed to go outside without boots on) would realize after walking barefoot on painful rocks, that this probably wasn't a good idea and change her mind.  My child----nope.  She is very assuredly, a strong-willed child. I'm convinced she would walk across a pile of broken glass barefoot, and look me straight in the eye, just to convince me she is right.  Yes----at 2! Some might say---'Oh my, watch out for those teenage years!' Perhaps in some ways they are right, but one thing about strong willed kids (I know, I am one) is that they stick to what they were raised to believe.  I'm convinced if I instill values in her now, she will STRONGLY stick to those as she gets older.  Goodness knows we will have our share of struggles, I'm certain, but I absolutely know that if Nick and I instill our values in her now, she will stick with it---and no one in this wide world will be able to tell her different.

Yet, the point I'm making is that 2-year olds are very confident. They think they know what is best, and want to do things their way.  It's part of the great adventure of becoming independent, and I believe is just part of the usual maturing cycle of growth.  Even though she's two and a half, there are moments when I see a little young lady emerging. This maturing takes a lifetime, and takes different forms. At 27 I'm convinced I'm far from "mature".  I know better than my 2-year old, but I still don't make every correct decision in this world.

Now, think about this.  We are God's children. We call him Father. He created us, cares for us, gently leads us, and helps us throughout the day. Much like we help our own children. Perhaps this is a picture of how God sees us. We may think we 'have it all together' and 'know it all', but in the end we really aren't that different than that unreasonable 2-year old.  We don't know what God knows---he is sovereign. We don't understand why things happen the way they do sometimes---and we throw fits. Maybe we didn't get that raise at work we've worked so hard for, or hired for a job we specifically spent 4 years in school to get? Maybe you've lost a baby in miscarriage, and you have no good explanation why, or find out you've been diagnosed with a terminal illness? Maybe you're 30 and single, desiring for a spouse and family but find yourself still single? I don't have answers to these difficult situations. Why? Because I'm not God. I'm in the same boat you all are in---we are God's children, and sometimes we just simply don't know why our Father allows us grief, pain, loss, or illness. However, I do KNOW God has a purpose for that pain. Romans 8:28 says, "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."  There is a reason why he leads us through the storms he does.  Perhaps it's the testimony we're supposed to give, or maybe someone else is weathering a storm like ours that we can help them face together.  In some cases I don't think we'll know the answer to "why" until we see God face to face one day. Part of maturing as Christians is accepting this, and simply asking God to lead us, protect us, and that HIS will be done in these painful circumstances---and trusting God with the outcome. That doesn't mean we won't have times of hurt, anguish, or even question God. It means that we learn to continually turn towards God no matter what road we're asked to walk. Each of our life stories are different, but we all certainly have had different difficult paths presented to us.  The difference in those that triumph through trials, and those that fall? God. Yep, plain and simple.  There are circumstances in this life that we cannot handle alone as humans.  Some turn to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain, others turn to additions like pornography, or are obsessive about having the best car, the most up-to-date smart phone, the fanciest house, or the greatest new trendy wardrobe. And still others wallow in self pity; distraught, depressed, and upset questioning why this happened to them, and still choosing not to follow God.

God can renew all things, and if you call upon him, he will bring you through any storm, AND good will come from it. I know there are some I have faced that the Lord has brought me through that I probably wouldn't be here if it weren't for my faith in him. I see such a need and aching  in our culture and our world to stop trying to fill that need with "stuff" and start filling it with God. Because when we begin to act like that unreasonable 2-year old sometimes, we need to remember Father always knows best!

Psalm 28:7
"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him"

Remodeling is not for the faint of heart.....(sigh)

Remodeling and contruction.....(groan). I really do love it, but it feels as though between the new addition to our home, and now finishing out a bathroom the process will never end!!!

The last 8 months have been pretty hectic for our family.  Many many amazing things have come in that time, but it's been crazy busy too. On August 26, 2013 we signed the papers to "officially" own our home (in the form of a mortgage rather than land contract), September 2, 2013 construction began on a new addition which added about 900 sq feet (top and bottom floors) to our existing home, September 4, 2013 our son Eli was born, and finally the day before Thanksgiving our carpet was installed and the new addition was finally done. We made it through the holidays, and this insane winter weather, and now we're tackling a bathroom.

I'm not terribly excited.  I'm excited to have it done, but I am SO over having the house torn up
and destroyed with tools, 2X4s, and paint cans laying about. I suppose it never ends, does it? Once we complete this project, we'll likely move onto another. Yet, I must admit, this will greatly improve the ease of use of our home as this will be the KIDS bathroom. It's just off of their bedrooms, and will make the process of the usual bedtime bath MUCH easier. For now....the only thing I can think about it the mess that will first consume the house.

Isn't it interesting that first, during construction of anything really, it must be totally torn-up, destroyed, with the near appearance of mass chaos and disorder before the new, ordered, complete, better-than-before work can first be observed? Certainly we would all agree this applies to road construction! Nick and I use the term "road destruction" anytime construction crews are out working on the roads.  Why? Because it's a total mess! The roads are torn up, traffic is backed up, construction equipment is loudly buzzing, pieces of roadway are usually lying about, rebar is typically sticking out of large pieces of concrete.....it looks far from ordered, or better! However, we know the results will be worth the disorganized chaos, as in the end the pot holes are fixed, roadways are repaved, another lane is added to speed the flow of traffic etc....it is actually better in the END.  Getting there, however, is pretty messy.

Giving our lives to, and following Christ is much the same way. There's no clear cut, clean, easy way of doing it, and there's a lot of messy work to be done in between. To the unbeliever, I'm sure we look crazy for taking such a difficult route---because the true peace and joy cannot be seen on the outside. The joys and treasures of this world are not on that difficult route.  There are plenty of holes to stumble in along the way, and in some cases half the road is missing! (I know some days I feel like half my road is missing!!) However, if we endure the hardship of following Him, it is well worth anything we could imagine. Matthew 6:19-21 states, "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure it, there your heart will be also."

Our time on this planet is that rough, messy road.. It's abrasive, going in an absolute opposite direction. The world wants us to take the 'easy' way out and follow the crowds, constantly enticing us with promises that tell of fulfilling our own desires.  Sure, it might be easier in the short run, and you may even find enjoyment temporarily along those paths---but I guarantee trouble will follow, the enjoyment will be short lived, and you will be searching for the next greatest thing the world has to offer to fill that gap. A gap Christ Himself can only fill.

Sticking to Biblical principles and Christs' true word are NOT easy in this crazy world we live in. We are quickly becoming a society, and world in which open opinions are not allowed, unless they are the more popular worldview. And if you choose to stand up for what you believe in your heart to be the truth, though it be the minority, you will be verbally attacked, discarded, and told that you are literally a horrible person for having your own opinion. Sound crazy?! It's happened to me......multiple times. However, the Bible says to take joy in persecution, and that we are blessed---so I can only assume I must be doing something right! :) Matthew 5:11 is pretty clear, "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me."  So, even though standing up for God's sovereign word isn't always the easiest route, Christ reminds us persecution will happen, and we're blessed when it does! Think about Christs' persecution on the cross.....I'd say that was a pretty rough road to pick.  Certainly not the easiest by worldly standards, and how easy he could have denied being "King of the Jews" and avoided the cross. But Christ chose the route that led to God---and thankfully, for the rest of us, was a choice that has saved us---literally, from the depths of hell.

I know in my heart what I believe to be true, and no one can tell me different.  Those with differing opinions than myself I do encourage to express their opinion.  However, when I am told that I cannot express my worldview just because it's different, just because the world thinks it's not politically correct---sorry, I'm going to do it anyways. The evidence of what Christ endured for me is enough for me to be convinced his words are absolute fact. Christ is my rock, and I will stand upon His words---even the less popular ones by worldly opinion. I have chosen to take the less traveled road, the more difficult one by far, but I know in the midst of this messy construction on my soul, my treasure is stored up with Christ. One day I long to hear the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant"

Investment, not just for the stock market

Rest is good for the soul. Thankfully, Nick and I were able to recently get away for a night. We chose to stay at Sybaris, in Indianapolis. I must say---this place was TOP notch. I don't think I've stayed anywhere else EVER that was this clean, well kept, private, quiet, and relaxing with the highest quality rooms, furnishings and even staff. It was a bit on the pricey side---but truthfully, if we had stayed at a Hampton or Drury Inn where the same cleanliness guidelines are followed, we'd pay (within $50) of the same price.

The big plus....we had our own private pool....YES! In it's own room, heated to a comfortable 93*, with fresh, extra soft and large cozy white towels sitting on nearby chairs, delicately tied with decorative twine. Above the pool, hung a large artificial fern, from which a waterfall of warm water flowed into the pool. 2 walls had mirrors covering them, to create a large, open feel. Another wall was painted with a beach scene, complete with palm trees and flowers. There were potted plants, and ferns in pretty much every corner of the room which really added a "homey" feel. An awesome plus in my opinion is that they had a sound system hooked into the pool area, so you could listen to the radio, or even watch a movie right from the pool. Your bedroom and TV were located behind a wall of glass (to keep out excess moisture from the pool area) but the flat screen TV was visible from the pool. It's also noteworthy that they had separate thermostats for each room to control the climate in each room separately---and even a dehumidifier to take the moisture out of the pool area. They also had a sauna/steam room located off of the pool area with two 'beach' style chairs that recline---but when you have a pool, who needs a steam room?!

If the pool isn't enough to entice you, there is also an extra large 4-person hot tub with jets located just off of the bedroom. A wicker basket held fresh bath towels and washcloths, once again decoratively tied with twine. The sinks were just outside of the bathroom---all new and modern--- and you had a mini refrigerator, coffee pot, and microwave set within new wooden cabinets and granite counter top. They literally had ice pre-made for you in a gallon ziplock bag within the mini freezer.  They also provided two wine glasses, and a corkscrew if needed.

The bed was super comfy. Not just clean, well kept and organized, but comfy. Above the bed was a sea of lighted specs to resemble stars----awesome to sleep under.  The top platform of the bed also had the sound system throughout which made for great movie watching. There were outlets for charging your phone, iPad, etc directly out of the side of the bed/headboard area, in addition to switches for the lights---super convenient. Atop the bed when you walk in are two sterilized cozy bathrobes for use while you're staying, and to right of the bed is a massage chair facing the flat screen TV and fireplace. The carpet was very new, plush and thick---unlike many of the typical hotel rooms. The room also smelled clean and inviting when you walked in---it was VERY obvious care was taken to every detail in cleaning and upkeep.  Each unit was its own building---which gave utmost privacy, comfort, and quietness. It was AWESOME!

Believe it or not, this was the "lower end" of the rooms that were available! Seriously! They have some that are 2-story and come with their own water slides! However, we felt this was more than adequate. It was wonderful.

Now, onto the point of all of this bragging on Sybaris. It's not only important (in my opinion) but absolutely vital to the health of a marriage to take some time away, relax, reconnect as a couple, and INVEST in your marriage. Whether you do this in a fancy place like Sybaris, in a basic Motel 8, or a local bed and breakfast---it's important to give your marriage the time it deserves.

I'm no marriage pro for sure, but it's pretty obvious to me, especially after having children, how vital it is to allot time for you and your spouse away from the hectic day-to-day. My kids mean the world to me, but what kind of a mommy am I if I'm not rested? What kind of parents are Nick and I if we do not take time away to work on "us".

The night we spent away we went out to Olive Garden (just us), had great conversation, and even had dessert! Then we checked into our room, swam, soaked in the hot tub, swam some more, watched a movie, munched on snacks, swam some more and even played some Super Nintendo! The point is we were together---with no distractions---no dirty diapers---no 2-year old meltdowns---just us. We talked about the kids of course---how much we love them, and all of the cute things they do. It's impossible to forget that! But we also talked about "us", prayed, and took time to tackle any surfacing issues. I can say with confidence, we emerged rested, more relaxed, better connected, and with an overall better vision of our family and the goals we have for ourselves and our kids. Yes, less than 24 hours did that!! You don't need to take a week long vacation. Sure they're nice--- but they are also expensive, and with kiddos, it's much more difficult finding a babysitter for that length of time.  Fortunately we are blessed with parents that have offered to watch the kids over night in our own home so that we could have a night away. How awesome is that?! It truly is a blessing knowing my little ones are well cared for and safely in the hands of family.

While I know everyone doesn't necessarily have parents to watch their kiddos for a night away---I'm certain everyone could find someone out there that they trust to watch them for one night away a year.  A friend, a co-worker, a brother or sister, your kid's best friend's parents....someone. As I have said before----where there is a will, there is a way. That is how I lived on the campus of Ball State University my entire life but managed to be enrolled in 4-H and show beef cattle, chickens, rabbits,  and sheep. In the summers I drove over 100 miles a day to feed, water, exercise, clean, and care for my animals----over 20 of them. People called me crazy---but I was determined. It was what I loved doing, and it was the only means by which I was able to do it.  So---I did! And....I won grand champion with many of those animals. Now, I am happily married with a family, and a flock of sheep that I am quite proud of that are located only about 40 feet from my front door.

My point is, if you're married, make it the priority. Matthew 6:21 says, "Therefore, wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Is your heart in your marriage? Do you sincerely treasure your spouse? Perhaps you haven't treated it as the treasure it is. Once again---I'm not here to point fingers.  Certainly every marriage can be better, and we haven't done everything perfectly. No human being is perfect, therefore there are no perfect marriages. But that is exactly WHY we must continually be working at making our marriages the very best, or the enemy will certainly try and tear you apart.

Nick and I recently hosted a marriage seminar, and while there were HUNDREDS of great, awesome take-aways, one that stuck with me is that, "Your spouse is a gift from God." It wasn't that I didn't believe that before this seminar, but re-thinking every action you take and thinking of your spouse as a hand-crafted, uniquely made, gift from God Himself really makes you act and think differently about your significant other. It drives you to serve them, care for them, and cherish them all the more----because God himself has given you a precious gift. If we're entrusted with this great gift, shouldn't we care for it, nurture it, and help our marriages to flourish despite the sacrifices we may need to make?

Another awesome quote from this marriage series that hit home for me is this: "The greatest gift you can give the next generation is commitment and fidelity in marriage." Our marriage is a picture for our kids.  They will grow up with their own perceptions of how marriage is supposed to be by looking at us! Yes!! How's that for humbling....and kinda scary too! My personal opinion is that a large portion of the reason why we're having such trouble with kids these days (trust me, my husband is a high school teacher--- there are serious issues with some kids these days!) is because so many of them didn't grow up in a home with both a loving father, and loving mother.  They never saw the whole picture. They grew up being raised by one parent or the other, when God uniquely made kids with the need for the dynamics of a mother-father household. There is nothing that can replace that. Ever.

Now, if you're reading this and you're divorced, or perhaps you're a single parent for one reason or another.  Not all is lost---by far.  God's grace can overcome any obstacle, and it is with Him and Him alone that all things can be made new. I have some wonderful, amazing friends that have come from single-parent/ divorced homes.  In fact, my own mother passed when I was 11, so from 11 years on I was raised in a single parent home.  I'm not any worse for the wear! Why? Because God can fill any void.  The problem is so many parents do not depend on, and lean on God in such circumstances. It is through these difficulties that we need to reflect God's all-powerful love, and trust that despite our circumstances, God has entrusted us with these kids because we alone are the best parent on this earth that they could have.  How is that for confidence! Yep---God has given you the children you have because YOU are the BEST possible person to raise that specific child.

Now----if that's all true, those of us that are married, let's make our marriages a priority.  All those single parent's out there----keep fighting the good fight for your kids, and know that you too need time away to re-charge and reconnect with God. We all need quiet time with God, and it's an important to make that a priority. If we truly have a perpetually "open-line" with the God that made the universe, why don't we take advantage of that more often? Ahhh, but that is another topic for another day.  For now, remember to take rest in God, and nurture your marriages. While it may not be the easiest thing to leave your kiddos at home for a night to devote all your energy to reconnecting with your spouse and God; I guarantee your families will be tighter, you will cherish each other more, and your greater focus on the Lord will translate into an unwavering foundation for your marriage for years to come.