Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Investment, not just for the stock market

Rest is good for the soul. Thankfully, Nick and I were able to recently get away for a night. We chose to stay at Sybaris, in Indianapolis. I must say---this place was TOP notch. I don't think I've stayed anywhere else EVER that was this clean, well kept, private, quiet, and relaxing with the highest quality rooms, furnishings and even staff. It was a bit on the pricey side---but truthfully, if we had stayed at a Hampton or Drury Inn where the same cleanliness guidelines are followed, we'd pay (within $50) of the same price.

The big plus....we had our own private pool....YES! In it's own room, heated to a comfortable 93*, with fresh, extra soft and large cozy white towels sitting on nearby chairs, delicately tied with decorative twine. Above the pool, hung a large artificial fern, from which a waterfall of warm water flowed into the pool. 2 walls had mirrors covering them, to create a large, open feel. Another wall was painted with a beach scene, complete with palm trees and flowers. There were potted plants, and ferns in pretty much every corner of the room which really added a "homey" feel. An awesome plus in my opinion is that they had a sound system hooked into the pool area, so you could listen to the radio, or even watch a movie right from the pool. Your bedroom and TV were located behind a wall of glass (to keep out excess moisture from the pool area) but the flat screen TV was visible from the pool. It's also noteworthy that they had separate thermostats for each room to control the climate in each room separately---and even a dehumidifier to take the moisture out of the pool area. They also had a sauna/steam room located off of the pool area with two 'beach' style chairs that recline---but when you have a pool, who needs a steam room?!

If the pool isn't enough to entice you, there is also an extra large 4-person hot tub with jets located just off of the bedroom. A wicker basket held fresh bath towels and washcloths, once again decoratively tied with twine. The sinks were just outside of the bathroom---all new and modern--- and you had a mini refrigerator, coffee pot, and microwave set within new wooden cabinets and granite counter top. They literally had ice pre-made for you in a gallon ziplock bag within the mini freezer.  They also provided two wine glasses, and a corkscrew if needed.

The bed was super comfy. Not just clean, well kept and organized, but comfy. Above the bed was a sea of lighted specs to resemble stars----awesome to sleep under.  The top platform of the bed also had the sound system throughout which made for great movie watching. There were outlets for charging your phone, iPad, etc directly out of the side of the bed/headboard area, in addition to switches for the lights---super convenient. Atop the bed when you walk in are two sterilized cozy bathrobes for use while you're staying, and to right of the bed is a massage chair facing the flat screen TV and fireplace. The carpet was very new, plush and thick---unlike many of the typical hotel rooms. The room also smelled clean and inviting when you walked in---it was VERY obvious care was taken to every detail in cleaning and upkeep.  Each unit was its own building---which gave utmost privacy, comfort, and quietness. It was AWESOME!

Believe it or not, this was the "lower end" of the rooms that were available! Seriously! They have some that are 2-story and come with their own water slides! However, we felt this was more than adequate. It was wonderful.

Now, onto the point of all of this bragging on Sybaris. It's not only important (in my opinion) but absolutely vital to the health of a marriage to take some time away, relax, reconnect as a couple, and INVEST in your marriage. Whether you do this in a fancy place like Sybaris, in a basic Motel 8, or a local bed and breakfast---it's important to give your marriage the time it deserves.

I'm no marriage pro for sure, but it's pretty obvious to me, especially after having children, how vital it is to allot time for you and your spouse away from the hectic day-to-day. My kids mean the world to me, but what kind of a mommy am I if I'm not rested? What kind of parents are Nick and I if we do not take time away to work on "us".

The night we spent away we went out to Olive Garden (just us), had great conversation, and even had dessert! Then we checked into our room, swam, soaked in the hot tub, swam some more, watched a movie, munched on snacks, swam some more and even played some Super Nintendo! The point is we were together---with no distractions---no dirty diapers---no 2-year old meltdowns---just us. We talked about the kids of course---how much we love them, and all of the cute things they do. It's impossible to forget that! But we also talked about "us", prayed, and took time to tackle any surfacing issues. I can say with confidence, we emerged rested, more relaxed, better connected, and with an overall better vision of our family and the goals we have for ourselves and our kids. Yes, less than 24 hours did that!! You don't need to take a week long vacation. Sure they're nice--- but they are also expensive, and with kiddos, it's much more difficult finding a babysitter for that length of time.  Fortunately we are blessed with parents that have offered to watch the kids over night in our own home so that we could have a night away. How awesome is that?! It truly is a blessing knowing my little ones are well cared for and safely in the hands of family.

While I know everyone doesn't necessarily have parents to watch their kiddos for a night away---I'm certain everyone could find someone out there that they trust to watch them for one night away a year.  A friend, a co-worker, a brother or sister, your kid's best friend's parents....someone. As I have said before----where there is a will, there is a way. That is how I lived on the campus of Ball State University my entire life but managed to be enrolled in 4-H and show beef cattle, chickens, rabbits,  and sheep. In the summers I drove over 100 miles a day to feed, water, exercise, clean, and care for my animals----over 20 of them. People called me crazy---but I was determined. It was what I loved doing, and it was the only means by which I was able to do it.  So---I did! And....I won grand champion with many of those animals. Now, I am happily married with a family, and a flock of sheep that I am quite proud of that are located only about 40 feet from my front door.

My point is, if you're married, make it the priority. Matthew 6:21 says, "Therefore, wherever your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Is your heart in your marriage? Do you sincerely treasure your spouse? Perhaps you haven't treated it as the treasure it is. Once again---I'm not here to point fingers.  Certainly every marriage can be better, and we haven't done everything perfectly. No human being is perfect, therefore there are no perfect marriages. But that is exactly WHY we must continually be working at making our marriages the very best, or the enemy will certainly try and tear you apart.

Nick and I recently hosted a marriage seminar, and while there were HUNDREDS of great, awesome take-aways, one that stuck with me is that, "Your spouse is a gift from God." It wasn't that I didn't believe that before this seminar, but re-thinking every action you take and thinking of your spouse as a hand-crafted, uniquely made, gift from God Himself really makes you act and think differently about your significant other. It drives you to serve them, care for them, and cherish them all the more----because God himself has given you a precious gift. If we're entrusted with this great gift, shouldn't we care for it, nurture it, and help our marriages to flourish despite the sacrifices we may need to make?

Another awesome quote from this marriage series that hit home for me is this: "The greatest gift you can give the next generation is commitment and fidelity in marriage." Our marriage is a picture for our kids.  They will grow up with their own perceptions of how marriage is supposed to be by looking at us! Yes!! How's that for humbling....and kinda scary too! My personal opinion is that a large portion of the reason why we're having such trouble with kids these days (trust me, my husband is a high school teacher--- there are serious issues with some kids these days!) is because so many of them didn't grow up in a home with both a loving father, and loving mother.  They never saw the whole picture. They grew up being raised by one parent or the other, when God uniquely made kids with the need for the dynamics of a mother-father household. There is nothing that can replace that. Ever.

Now, if you're reading this and you're divorced, or perhaps you're a single parent for one reason or another.  Not all is lost---by far.  God's grace can overcome any obstacle, and it is with Him and Him alone that all things can be made new. I have some wonderful, amazing friends that have come from single-parent/ divorced homes.  In fact, my own mother passed when I was 11, so from 11 years on I was raised in a single parent home.  I'm not any worse for the wear! Why? Because God can fill any void.  The problem is so many parents do not depend on, and lean on God in such circumstances. It is through these difficulties that we need to reflect God's all-powerful love, and trust that despite our circumstances, God has entrusted us with these kids because we alone are the best parent on this earth that they could have.  How is that for confidence! Yep---God has given you the children you have because YOU are the BEST possible person to raise that specific child.
Now----if that's all true, those of us that are married, let's make our marriages a priority.  All those single parent's out there----keep fighting the good fight for your kids, and know that you too need time away to re-charge and reconnect with God. We all need quiet time with God, and it's an important to make that a priority. If we truly have a perpetually "open-line" with the God that made the universe, why don't we take advantage of that more often? Ahhh, but that is another topic for another day.  For now, remember to take rest in God, and nurture your marriages. While it may not be the easiest thing to leave your kiddos at home for a night to devote all your energy to reconnecting with your spouse and God; I guarantee your families will be tighter, you will cherish each other more, and your greater focus on the Lord will translate into an unwavering foundation for your marriage for years to come.




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